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Poor Queequeg

RIP Queequeg (image credit: https://41.media.tumblr.com/2b58ed3500f5df8be158798adb040ebd/tumblr_mtvirnW6og1sx5stpo1_1280.jpg)

RIP Queequeg

R.I.P. little buddy.

We’re still missing you 20 years later. And we’ll miss you forever.

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Where from here?

Hi everyone, thanks for visiting. Are you excited about tomorrow’s new shows? Here at The X-Files 20 Years Later we are very excited. Maybe even excited enough to resume blogging our rewatch project. WHO CAN SAY THOUGH. Any requests for recaps of episodes we’ve missed in our indolence?

Nothing to hide

Maggots are gross. That is all.

Clyde Bruckman, what a guy.

Clyde Bruckman makes the claim that if he can see the future that means that it must have already happened. He is right. This blog post was written in the future of the time that you are reading it. Or I am in the future of the time that I will have read this before I wrote it.

Now I am confused.

Bruckman’s dream about being dead and decomposing in a field of red tulips is oddly soothing, particularly coming from a guy who knows his own and everyone else’s future. The message is: we all died. We all know what happens when a person dies. There is something soothing about being completely aware and mindful of those truths.

The other message of the dream is that Clyde Bruckman is a total weirdo. That is pretty clear from his behavior also.

As weird as he might be, he lived by a strange code involving an overall orientation toward allowing the future to unfold as it is supposed to. In the end, this meant that he had to fulfill his destiny the only way he knew how, since he knew that he was slated to die.

And so it goes.

DPOQED

D.P.O. is clearly about what happens when you put massive firepower in the hands of idiots who are not capable of controlling their emotions.

Q.E.D.

I didn’t come here to have a gun pointed in my face

This episode begins with the pointing of guns in faces.

This is a clear piece of evidence for the claims that if we all had guns we would all be safer.

Scully is there and she has her gun. Then AD Skinner busts in and he has his gun and the two are at a standoff (NO VIOLENCE). Then Mulder busts in and he points his gun at everybody and they all point their guns at him (NO VIOLENCE). Then everyone shouts a lot an demands things and finally something is resolved and no one gets shot.

Flash to Scully’s sister in the hospital. Someone shot her in the head. Her mom thought it was Dana at first and then realize that it wasn’t. I guess that is because Melissa Scully is not an FBI agent and doesn’t have a gun on her person at all times. Sorry about your luck. Should have been carrying a gun. Welcome to America. Don’t not carry a gun or you will get shot. If you have a gun you can deflect other bullets by just shooting randomly in all directions.

If you got ’em, shoot ’em, XX-philes.

The future of the past will be tomorrow

I hope everyone is excited. Tomorrow is the premiere of season 3, “The Blessing Way.”

Get out your tinfoil hats (there are instructions for fashioning a good one linked from last year’s pre-season warmup post). It is important to have a good tinfoil hat so that the government and their alien conspirators can’t broadcast distracting radio waves into your brain while you are trying to watch the 2-decade-time-shifted X-Files. They don’t want you to understand the past future because it might interfere with the now future plans to hybridize the human race with alien DNA.

But I’ve said too much. Tune in tomorrow. 9pm.

A NEW (OLD) SEASON IS NIGH

We have less than two weeks until “The Blessing Way” begins season 3 twenty years later.

This is obviously very exciting, but we cannot let it distract us. We have jobs (or whatever). We must resist the urge to lie on the living room floor from now until then staring at Netflix in anticipation. Go to work, fools. Don’t be hapless, listless jerks.

We shall reconvene on 22 September and kick off the new season together while live-blaghing.

Mulder’s Expense Account

So, Død Kalm, our most recent episode, raises some interesting questions about just what the hell the US government is paying for. Mulder manages to charter a trawler and sail it near to the Arctic Circle to ensure that its entire crew dies and that it almost kills him and Scully as well.

None of this was inexpensive. I can only imagine what his expense report looked like after he woke up from nearly dying of old age or whatever.

Expense Cost Justification
Last minute flight to Norway $6800.00 My back hurt. I had to fly business class.
Flight for Scully $6800.00 We obviously both needed to go to Norway.
Trawler rental $18000.00 I don't see how you expect me to do my job if I can't rent a trawler whenever and stuff.
International waters rescue $48000.00 What? Were you just going to leave us out there to die of old age?
Hospital costs $286000.00 Dude. I was dying of old age. That is ex-pen-sive, yo.
Coffee at Dulles $18.00 I held off on asking for another shot and extra whip. What do you want from me?

I would hate to be the admin who had to deal with that. Or Skinner, having to sign off on those expense reports? His boss must be ready to kill him most days.

The truth is that this would never work these days. The bureaucratic processes involved in reimbursement at governmental institutions are much more advanced than they were in the 1990’s. That means that a reimbursement that took a month then might take 48 years now.

Important Link

http://www.buzzfeed.com/dorsey/snapchats-from-scully#.aeVYGaneO